"i miss you and am thinking of you"

just recently, i've indulged myself guiltlessly over the final fantasy series theme songs. the one that affected me most was First Love by Utada Hikaru. a classic from where JPop originated. this song revolves around a central theme of undying love. girl loses boy and girl promises to love him, because 'he' was the one who taught her to love. pathetic? i believe we all get there, sooner or later.

here's a link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oD-xyshhHKM
-- spoiler alert-- (emotional tantrum about to happen)
there's no anger left anymore. there's only pain and unanswered questions. what has changed throughout the years? what keeps me hanging on to these fragile strands that threaten to break with the most delicate of movements?
shrek, forever after; got me crying when he said to Fiona:"i got the chance to fall in love with you all over again."it's pathetic to say, that every day that passes by with him in my mind, gets me saying the same thing. everyday, is another chance for me to fall head over heels, again. what pains me the most is how everyday is another chance for him to mess with my head, and to possibly give me an emotional breakdown... again.
i just wish he would love me more than i do him.

p.s.: my friends give the best advice... and i love them so.

what else is there to say?

Anata ga inakute, samishii kimochi ni narimashita. あなたが いなくて 寂しい気持ちになりました。